God Never Blinks

“Mama, did you know that God never blinks? That’s how He can see everybody at the same time all the time,” my eight-year-old daughter Zoe informed me yesterday. I looked over at my firstborn child and felt something move in my heart.

Since the moment she was born, Zoe has been my surest link with God. He came alive to me like never before the first time I looked into her blue eyes and I knew that my life would never be the same after that.

And I was right.

God is as real to Zoe as her daddy and sisters and me, as easy to talk to as her friend Paula down the street. And her questions about Him have challenged and changed my life in ways I could never have imagined eight years ago.

This time was no different.

All of a sudden, I wasn’t 40 anymore. I was a skinny nine-year-old with big dreams and nothing but faith to make them come true.

I was sitting in the back pew at the First Baptist Church in Pine Mountain when I first realized, from somewhere deep inside me, that God was for real.

From that moment on, life felt different.

We were still not the richest family in town but I didn’t care anymore. I prayed every day. God was my Best Friend. I told Him all  my dreams, never doubting for a second that each one of them would come true someday. I knew that one day I would go to college, even though Mama worked three jobs just to support my three sisters and me and there was never an extra dollar. I knew that I would write stories even if no one else read them. I knew that I would be a mother because that was my greatest dream of all. Most of all, I knew that no matter what God was with me. He saw me. He cared about  me individually. Somewhere along the way I’d managed to forget what I already  knew.

It’s so easy to get tired on the inside, to let outside pressures wear you down. It only takes so many times of wiping magic marker off the wall before you give up and arrange pictures to hide the scribbles. After you’ve gone two years averaging four hours of sleep a night, you find yourself caring less and less whether or not your toddler has a bow in her hair when she goes to daycare. You’re just thankful you manage to get her there in time for breakfast.

Sometimes, late at night, when I watch my children sleeping, hear the gentle rhythm of their breathing, I find myself breathing my own silent sigh of relief.

Another day is done. Another round of getting all four of us up and ready for work and school, putting in my time at work, going home to face the chaos of homework and supper and bathtime and  the endless requests for something to drink. There is not much down time in the world of single parenting. You don’t get a lot of repeat visitors there.

God, however, sees my life the way it is. He sees the Cracker Jacks on my sofa and the unrecognizable leftovers in my fridge. He sees all my shortcomings and loves me still.

An unblinking God.

What a concept.

Avant-garde Art by Chloe Reames

My daughters are all extraordinary artists. Each has her own eclectic style. Today I’m focusing on the art of my middle daughter, Chloe, who lives in South Florida. Here are a couple of her pieces. I love the freedom, the way her work draws me back time and time  again. Perhaps I’ll open my own gallery to feature the work of three fine artist sisters…Zoe, Chloe and Caroline Reames….

Naked Dancing: A Review of Dancing Naked at the Edge of Dawn by Kris Radish

This book is juicy, honest, and provocative. It will maybe not convince you immediately to throw off your shirt and literally dance naked (then again, maybe it will), but it will draw you ever so much closer to opening up to who you (really) are….and to who you have always known yourself to be. I rarely read fiction but I picked this book up and could not, literally, put it down. On page 53, one sentence blazed out at me as if the words printed on the page were typeset in pure, shining gold:

“I never did what I wanted to do.”

I stopped reading, heart caught in my throat, and took out a purple pen and underlined that sentence. Then I read it again and circled it. Then I read it a third time and added wild exclamation points all around it.

This book is about daring, about jumping out, facing forward, standing up, not backing down. This book is about stripping expectations of others and rising proud in your vulnerable, exposed self…til you are the gorgeous human being that you and God intended yourself to be all along.

Well, maybe the author didn’t mean for it to be about God, but all I could hear, reading it through, was the voice of God shouting my name, whispering to me, steady anchoring me to one powerful, undeniable thought: Dare to be naked in your life, whatever that means and whatever that takes.

I remember being at a self-development course one year in a city where bougainvillea bloom riotously and over-ripe mangoes fall on the ground nearly every day, free for the taking. I was searching for myself and I found Her one night at the course, when they dared me to take a risk, push myself beyond my own boundaries. I was dancing with some other women in a room of mostly young, mostly fit, mostly attractive people. Suddenly, I took off my shirt and my bra and I danced, top of me naked, in front of them. This was not easy (I am, after all, neither young nor fit, though I do feel attractive in my own right) but it would have been harder not to do it. That’s how strong the urgent voice within me shouted. I needed to be seen, wanted to be heard, and made a way for that to happen.

This book reminds me of the courage of that South Florida night.

And it reminds me that, every single day, I get to choose to dance or not dance, naked or clothed, my way to the strong, glorious experience of living life to its…er, my…fullest.

Yummy2Tummy: Food52 Mighty Salads delivers a delicious punch!

I’ve had a longstanding on-again, off-again love affair with salads, but this book may be the one thing that makes me stand up and commit to salads forever, the salads are so stunning.

Promising “60 new ways to turn salads into dinner”, this appetizing book definitely delivers! I love the look of the book itself: it is a great hardcover as attractively packaged as all Ten Speed Press publications tend to be, with stunning visuals accompanying the recipes.

In addition, as Food52 founders Amanda Hesser and Merrill Stubbs explain, this gorgeous book offers, along with yummy, creative salad recipes, “…loads of tips, riffs, variations and some ideas that we’re pretty sure you’ve never seen before.”

(Note: I have no idea what “riffs” are, but I can tell you, I love the little juicy tips that keep popping up as happy little surprises on some of the pages. Take, for example, one of my fave tidbits: how to keep an avocado from browning. I won’t offer up a spoiler, but I can tell you the answer is on the bottom of page 14 and it is surprisingly simple.)

Whether it is the Charred Okra Succotash Salad (“…choose small, pinky-size okra so they’re soft…”) to the Coconut Rice Salad with Mango, Bell Pepper and Lime (“…with a little primp and polish, your favorite side can easily become your main squeeze….”), the writing about the recipes is almost as fresh and appealing as the actual ingredient lists. This shouldn’t come as much of a surprise since Hesser and Stubbs formerly worked for the New York Times.

I  fell head over heels in love with this book and, as with most infatuations, I just can’t wait to tell everyone about it! Go out and get this book! Are you reading this at night? Put a jacket over your pjs and head on out, or just hunker down and order it online. It’s a treat for your eyes and for your tummy. Do it. Just do it. (And think of me when you try the Spring Vegetable Panzella! If I wasn’t writing this in my comfy bed, after having already consumed more than my share of taste-tested recipes from this book already, I’d be trying this “garlicky three-herb pesto”!)  (I received this book for review by Blogging For Books, but the opinion is mine.)

I love irises.

Morning-glories, too, preferably blue, and creamy gardenias and bright zinnias and marigolds. When I have my dream house, I’ll have all of these sweet flowers in my yard. 🙂

I’m a hopelessly inept blogger!

Help! I have apparently no idea how to format a blog correctly. No one can find my blogs. When they do, they can’t share my posts. I can’t even find my own blogs most of the time. Please help me to make this reader-friendly! (And author-friendly!)

my faith is sound…

I’m happy tonight. No big reason. Just happy to be safe and warm and dry and fed. God loves me and I love Him.

Slow and Steady in the Fast

Source: Slow and Steady in the Fast

Slow and Steady in the Fast

For years I have avoided fasting, even though I have read about it in the Bible and have heard many stories of the power and closeness that come about for those who practice it. I don’t know why I’ve been so reluctant, unless it is, plain and simple, that I don’t like to deprive myself of food! Seriously, that sounds really selfish and childish, and it is selfish and childish, lol, but it’s also really really true.

I’m not that big on sacrifice.

But I am into God. I am in love with Him. I want to be with Him and I want Him to want to be with me. That means, just as I would do with a boyfriend or husband, or my best friend, I get to find out what He likes, what He wants to do with me, and then I get to do it.

That includes fasting.

God made it easy for me by placing me in Free Chapel, a church fellowship that does an annual 21 day Daniel Fast. I am in a group, not doing this alone, and there are daily devotionals, music downloads for worship, and passionate sermons by my pastor, Jentezen Franklin, helping to clarify and guide us through the fast.

Which is good, by the way, for a newbie faster like me. I initially thought we would be drinking water only for 21 days! That wouldn’t be life-sustaining for me, a confirmed junk food junkie and self-proclaimed addict to carbs, sugar and fat, aka grease. To my happy relief, there are several options for this fast. I have chosen one that works for me. I don’t know that I will divulge which one I chose, in case that influences you one way or the other, but I can tell you it is one that is a huge challenge for me. Huge. As in, I can’t do this without HIS strength to keep me going day by day.

More exciting for me is the emphasis this fast places on renewed time with Him in prayer and time in the Word. I’m so eager for this. I have a few issues, some needs and desires that I have brought to Him in this fasting time, and I’m surprised and amazed at how, already, when I open my Bible, verses are jumping out at me, so relevant to my needs, prayers, requests that it is as if Jesus Himself is standing in the room with me, holding out the Bible and pointing out Scripture that fits right with where I am.

I will try to blog as often as possible during the Fast. I’m not rushing anything because one thing I understand  is that this is a slow pace, a steady race, to a deeper, stronger, more alive and vibrant relationship with the One I love most of all.

I can say this: today I woke up, made my daughter her egg and toast, and drank grape juice and felt satisfied. I spent time with Him, worshiping Him, honoring Him, talking to Him. I just ate the World’s Most Delicious Orange (not really, but I enjoyed it immensely, seeing as how I focused on each bite, each sweet tangy spurt of juice in my mouth, taking my time to savor each gorgeous orange section). I’m drinking water, lots of it, and just taking it one moment at a time.

And I am committed. One hundred percent. Do you want to join me?

 

 

 

When it rains…

Gosh, when it rains, it pours! An old cliche, but a true one! I’ve gone literally months with no open doors, no offers, no invitations for work or ministry, and in the course of three days, I’ve received an invitation to be a mission director in Fl, been asked to consider an assignment to teach nursing students how to speak English in China, and received a call from a recruiter to go to Rhode Island to do a temporary job in the event of a labor dispute. As in all things, I look for God’s Hand in any decision I make, and I weigh what matters most in my life against each possible decision. What matters to me most is my relationship with Jesus Christ, the welfare of my three daughters, and the effect of any of my decisions on my immediate and extended family.

What decision are you choosing to make today? I will pray for you and you pray for me, as we get the fun of changing, rearranging, or keeping our lives steadily the same. Cheers!